Reflecting on how my life changed from 2007-2008

I just wanted to share with you that I sit down at the end of every year and reflect on how much my life has changed from the year before... I think it's even more substantial this year for me than any other year. I just thought I'd share the changes. I'd love to see your lists too... if you're willing to share!

2007:

• Married to Stephen
• Living in Charlestown, IN
• Working at XanEdu Full Time
• Going to school at IUS for Secondary Education, Science
• Took No Vacations
• Treehouse Stamps didn't exist

2008:

• Married to Stephen
• Living in Charlestown, IN
• Quit my job in July to go back to school full time & work on my business
• Going to school at IUS, but am really thinking about changing my major to Nursing
• Went to Cancun, Mexico
• Took a Girls Road Trip
• Went on a cabin getaway to Tennessee
• Treehouse Stamps Exists & is Growing! :)
• Felt the greatest joy in my life & yet the greatest loss of my life in the end with my first pregnancy.

A ton has changed in my life over the past year... 2008 was a great year for me until the miscarriage. I'm not going to say it was a bad year, because it could have been much worse. I'm thankful for the good times & try to find peace with the bad. I'm praying for comfort and that 2009 will bring us more joy than sorrow. I wish that for everyone! Share your list if you feel like it!

Hugs,

Ash-

Thank You! Ashley's Creative Corner est. Jan 2007

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day photos & Card for Baby Shower

Hello Friends! Happy Thursday... I hope you are having a lovely week so far. I just wanted to share 2 photos with you from yesterday. I took a photo of the candles I lit in remembrance of all of the pregnancy and infant loss around the world. There were 2 small candles and then there is a larger candle in the glass pillar up on our mantle. :) Kristin came over tonight since Stephen works 2nd shift to light the candles with me and just hang out. Some nights we all need a best friend by our side. :)

I know I've been doing a ton of baby cards and projects lately, but I know around 25 people due from now until next May! Isn't that insane in the membrane?! LOL!!! My good friend, Kristi, is expecting her first baby in January. Her baby shower is November 8th...so I thought I'd go ahead and get her baby card out of the way. :) I used the stork, sentiment, and heart from Treehouse Stamps Baby Blessings stamp set. :)

Have a great day!
Hugs,
Ashley

Pregnancy Loss Jewelry

Happy Tuesday, Friends! I hope you are all having a good day. When I checked my mail today there my bracelet was that I ordered after my miscarriage. I'm going to put an angel outside in our flower bed and probably plant a new tree in remembrance of the baby angel we lost. When I saw this charm bracelet from www.MyForeverChild.com I knew I wanted one. Here is the meaning of the charms...and if you notice the crystals out to the sides of them...represent the month.

The Rose: "LIFE"-with a crystal in the color of the month that our baby was conceived, and a new life entered mine.

"Butterfly"-with a crystal in the color of the month our baby passed away, and was free to fly like a beautiful carefree butterfly.

"Wish"-with a crystal in the color of the month that our baby was originally due, when we hoped and wished our baby would be in our arms.

I also added the baby feet heart charm... on the back of it I had engraved, "Baby Angel 4/3/09 in my heart."

I sat out on our porch in the sun to open it... it made me cry, but at the same time it is even a little more closure. I am so hopeful for the future. I just wanted to share this with you... they also had a poem with the bracelet.

My Forever Child

You are a Precious Child

Created out of love,

a blessing from above.

I've adored you from the start,

and your little footprints touched my heart.

A single teardrop represents

the millions I have cried.

My life never the same since you died.

I wish you could have stayed longer with me.

I'd watch you grow into all you could be.

Although we are apart,

You are always in my heart.

I dream of the joyful time when

we will be reunited once again.

Thoughts of you make me smile.

You will always be My Forever Child.

Please remember that tomorrow, OCTOBER 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Check out My Post about it HERE.

Hugs,

Hardest Post of My Life...

This is truly the hardest post I will probably ever have to make and I'm sure I will cry while writing ever bit of it too. I know I don't have to share this with you, but for some reason I feel like I need to share what happened and how I feel. It truly has been the worst week of my life.

Thursday we went to the doctor for my 12 week check-up and to get the 1st chance to hear our baby's heartbeat. I was scared because I think I knew something was wrong, but excited that maybe there was a chance I would be wrong about that. Needless to say... we didn't hear the baby's heartbeat at all and instead were rushed in for an emergency ultrasound. I knew something was wrong the moment I saw the screen. I still have nightmares every night of seeing that screen over and over again. I could see our baby, but no little heartbeat! The doctor didn't even have to say it... I already knew at that very moment I would never get to hold or rock my baby. It is the single hardest thing I've ever had to face.

You know... miscarriage is so taboo in this world and I think that's crazy. A mother should have every right to go through the grieving, because that was a real life and is a very real loss.

The most amazing thing to me is how in the blink of an eye... all of your hopes and dreams change. You realize over the next days that you are capable of feeling a sadness deeper than you ever thought possible. That you truly are just as strong as those people who you thought were the strongest people in your life. You also realize that you are not alone...and this has happened to a lot of people. You also realize how loved you are by people you never thought cared much. I've found people coming from all walks of life, friends that I haven't talked to in years, and my family trying to help me through this hard, grey moment in my life. It's amazing how your perspective on life changes at the flip of a switch...not all for the bad either.

One of my greatest findings over the past few days is that my husband is my rock and truly the love of my life. We've always been so close, but I think we have a new understanding of each other. We are both grieving and he doesn't have to say anything to help me. Just the fact that when I sit in the living room floor and cry he picks me up, wraps his arms around me, and doesn't let go. He is my everything!

I'm very sorry if this is hard for you to read...but I hope that if you've been there, are going through it, will go through it, or know someone who does go through it that my words will help you find the strength and the light in some of it. I'm not saying that it's easy, because it is by far the hardest thing I've ever encountered and I cry every single day, but I have hope for a brighter tomorrow. For now... I dream of the day that I get to hold a beautiful, healthy baby in my arms. I also know that Jesus is taking care of my baby until I get there.

I’ll be there, From your little angel:

Daddy, please don’t look so sad,
Mama please don’t cry
Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
And He sings me lullabies.

Please try not to question God,
Don’t think he is unkind
Don’t think He sent me to you
And then He changed his mind.

You see, I am a special child,
And I’m needed up above
I’m the special gift you gave Him,
The product of your love.

I’ll always be there with you
And watch the sky at night
Find the brightest star that’s gleaming,
That’s my halo’s brilliant light
You’ll see me in the morning frost,
That mists your window pane,
That’s me in the summer showers,
I’ll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
From a gentle wind that blows
That’s me,
I’ll be there,
Planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing,
And your heart feels a little tug,
That’s me,

I’ll be there,
giving your heart a hug.

So Daddy, please don’t look so sad,
Momma don’t you cry.

I’m in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies

God Bless and Hugs,
Ashley